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A bit of Fanfiction, and a Greeting from a Newb

Started by Star Sage, Apr 23, 2007, 11:25 AM

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Star Sage

Hi there, I am the once and always Sage of Stars. I've had that sign in name for years, and will probably keep it forever. It's me, and I like it. Now then, I'm a bit of a writer in my spare time, I enjoy it, it's fun to do. If you look in my portfolio on writing.com you'll find, among the vore and other stories, an interesting bit of fanfiction from the Kevin and Kell universe, which, incidentally is how I found this comic, which is advertised there.

Now, as to this place. I just got inspired to write something this morning, I don't entirely know why, but I read this last night for the first time, and thought I had a good enough grasp of the world to write what I did. I'll admit, I don't play PC games much, and honestly I never heard of the game this one's based off of. I do however, use wikipedia enough to have read its entry on this, which is more than a bit whiny sounding, though I can understand why, as the target audience for this was going to be somewhat different than what it ended up being.

Now then, finally to the fanfic. This is your basic fanfiction, with two Mary Sues as opposed to the more common one. Not truly comic foils, the characters Doc and Andrew, if I keep writing, will show the reaction to this possible future from the perspectives of both a jobber, who's work is life, and a scientist, who sees things in a different way. I hope to throw in a good villain, and maybe something amounting to a love interest of sorts with a few of the characters.

I'd like opinions on this, just so you know, which is why I'm posting what I'd consider a prologue to this story. It's length is actually enough to be a short story, but I hope to do more, at least if I get enough interest for it. So please, tell me what you think, what can be improved, what's awesome as is, and all that good stuff we smalltime authors like to hear to keep us going.



The clearing was silent as the dawning sun pierced the night time mists. Slowly life was returning to the forest at large, the various Tribes awakening from their slumbers to work their way through another day. Inside one home a pair of Fox Tribe members were going over a few items that had been bought the week before from a trader. They had bags of supplies ready to take them to friends in other lands, that they might learn the purposes of some of these devices.

In the clearing though, the silence reigned supreme. Even the animals of the forest avoided this place. It was taboo in the legends of many of the Tribes, and most of the wilds knew that to walk here meant death. The reason for this was seen in the clearing's center, where a single patch of exposed dirt stood out, clear and true, against the grass which grew at odd angles, and with colors that were not normal in the slightest bit.

This morning, as with every morning, the clearing was empty. Yet, an odd feeling would have touched any who walked through it. The feeling of power, contained just below the surface, threatening to brim up at any moment, and burst forth in a blast of force that would level anyone close. To many, this would have been yet another sign to stay away. This was lucky too, as, the moments bleeding into a tapestry of morning and then into noontime, were interrupted by a blast of air.

The blast was loud, as air tends to be when it moves quickly, and when it burst back outward the trees around the clearing were bent, though only slightly. Grass however was torn from the roots, and for several miles around was flattened. To many this would only be another result of the storms that were growing worse with each passing season. For a few though, they realized where it was coming from.

The two Foxes took only a moment to look at each other before starting off toward the clearing, not even bothering to put on their cloaks. In the clearing the dust was only just beginning to settle a moment later, and the sound of coughing and moving could be heard, as well as the odd crunch of glass under worn boots, as two figures, both carrying large cases, stepped forward into a world that was probably not the least bit ready of them.

"Hey Doc, I think your calculations were a bit off. This doesn't look like the lab at all," said a gruff voice, and out of the dust cloud came the owner, a largish man. His bulk would appear to be sheer muscle from a distance, and his walk implied that as well. Getting closer though, one would see that he was what would be considered a modern human. His bulk, while it was muscled for his type of person, was no where near as much as it appeared, a portion of it just being fat.

"Mr. Andrew, I don't know why you bother stating the false and the truth in the same breath, but if you'll give me a moment I'll show you that you are," came another voice, still coughing. The figure that emerged behind the bulky man was actually taller, by a bit. Doc stood almost seven feet in height, compared to Mr. Andrews only six foot, three inches. At the same time though, his frame was obviously not that of someone who worked out sparingly, if at all.

"Which part was false? We're not in the lab, obviously, but that means your calculations were off, right?" asked Andrew, shaking his head, his dirty brown hair getting its luster back as he got the dust out of it. His preferred hair style appeared to be short cropped, with it going down only to the back of his neck. Rubbing his eyes a bit as he set the large case in his hands down he blinked, the baby blue eyes watering to get the last of the dust out of them, while he shook his cloths, the white t-shirt and blue jeans stained with the dirt in the air.

"We aren't in the lab, that's correct, but my calculations are never wrong. Something must have occurred in transit, and if you'll give me a few moments, and that scanner in your pack, I'll prove it to you," answered the one called Doc as he stepped farther out of the cloud. His clothing and style were a sharp contrast to the normal clothes worn by Andrew. His clothing consisted of a skin tight jump suit that appeared to be made of some grayish material, that, upon closer inspection, was several tiny interlinking chains. His head was also quite different, his scalp and face having nary a hair on them, and not even an impression of any growing, while his eyes were a deep gray color that matched his suit.

"Whatever you say Doc. Now how's about you give me what's in your case while I let you get out the equipment?" proposed Andrew, looking askance at Doc. Obviously his companion was somewhat reluctant to hand over the smaller case, for whatever reason, but Andrew's hands held the other case tightly, telling him he would not be able to argue with the stronger man, at least not and win, so he allowed the smaller case to fall to the ground as he walked over toward the larger one, which Andrew set down gently, before going after his own prize.

"I don't see why you need that brutish thing. It's not like we're going to run into many enemies here. Look around you, it's wilderness as far as the eye can see," said Doc as he began to open the large case. Inside it appeared dark, like a black shroud was inside it, sucking away all the light, which was the first of many defenses it had. Reaching into the darkness Doc actually pushed his entire upper body into a space that seemed like it shouldn't have been able to hold a quarter that much, and the sounds of moving pieces of metal could easily be heard as he moved things around inside of it.

"Even the wilderness has dangers Doc. Hell, at least you can reason with people. I doubt you could parley with a lion if one decided to make you lunch," countered Andrew as he opened the smaller case, though unlike the Doc's, which opened with a clasp, this one was a bit more complex. On the sides were small black strips of what looked like plastic, compared to the metallic material that both cases were actually made of. Moving his thumbs over the strips caused them to turn red and blue respectively, and then pressing into the strips at what seemed to be two random points, his case opened with a pop and a hiss of air, the top coming off completely and being set aside as Andrew beamed at the single device within.

"Besides, you might want some deep core samples, or we might have to sleep around here tonight. Either way this thing was a digging tool," he said, pulling out the single object in his case. It appeared to be a toy double barreled pistol, if you didn't know any better, light, like plastic, and clear save for a few silver lines running along the inside. On the inside was the trigger, and where the hammer would normally be was a small button. Thumbing that he felt the tingle as the device made sure of who he was, and then the violet core hummed to life, glowing deep inside the clear thing, while the cones that capped the barrels vibrated, making the odd sound he was hearing.

"Yes, yes, I know. But I have devices that can do much more than that one can. Your weapon kills, mine can stun, knock unconscious, and even wake up anything we find, with a little modification," said Doc as he came out. In one hand he held something that looked like a graphing calculator, with a wide screen and many buttons, but a single press and it was revealed to be much more, as the screen glowed and a fully three-dimensional image sprung to life, the first display being what it thought was local time based off dozens of measurements it was taking.

"Hmm, late morning, about when we left," said Doc, more to himself than to Andrew, who had holstered his weapon at his waist while looking about. The air was mostly clear now, all the dust settled.

"Say, here's a quick question Doc. You said there would only be a small burst of air because we did something to it traveling like we did. It wasn't the same kind of air, but the place around here is kind of torn up. That seems to mean the blast was much more than what you said it would be, doesn't it?" asked Andrew as he continued to scan the clearings edge, eyes alert for any sign that might indicate danger or the like.

"That's true. The burst shouldn't have had any power behind it. The air burst effect would have been caused by the air we moved with being at a different temperature and density than the local variety. The pressure  equalizing would have created a small explosion as the two met at the event horizon. Of course, the blast was exponentially amplified by the fact that the air inside was warmer. A lot warmer actually, we've got almost a nineteen degree variation. Odd," responded Doc, diving into the device, and pressing buttons in a rapid series. Suddenly he stared upward, looking straight at the sun through the floating holographic display on his device.

"Intriguing," he said to himself, looking back down. The holo image now showed stars, the device having filtered out sunlight. Returning to work he was absorbed in it for several minutes, so Andrew started to play with his gun a bit, taking it out and pointing it toward the ground at the edge of the clearing, the grass there being almost knee high due to no traffic. Pulling the trigger down until it clicked once he saw one of the cones on the barrels glow, and suddenly the grass and ground in a foot radius of where he was aiming vanished, leaving nothing behind, not even a cloud to mark what had made the small crater.

"Well, at least we aren't defenseless," he commented, placing the gun back in its holster, and then looking toward the screen. Now it showed two separate star images, with some of the stars near to where they were, but others off by whole degrees. He wondered why that was, but then turned as a small rustling noise came from the edge, to face two monstrous beings that stared at him, their mouths showing teeth that was meant for tearing into flesh.

"Oh my. I'm afraid I not only owe you an apology Mr. Andrew, but I have some very bad news as well," said the Doc suddenly, still bent over his machine, and looking toward him, Andrew gently wrapped his arm around the taller man and then spun him around to face the creatures, though Doc didn't seem to be inclined to look up.

"I have some of that last for you two. Now how's about you decide if you want to stun them, or if you'll let me do the smart thing and get rid of them," asked Andrew, and Doc looked up, quite startled at first to find the two Foxes at the edge of the clearing, and then grinning broadly at them, trying not to show his teeth as he faced off Rif and Rhene, though by the way he was smiling one wouldn't even guess that the site of the two was something he didn't put up with daily.