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 on: April 16, 2017, 09:19:35 PM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by cairn destop
You do provide answers to some of the biggest questions: what happened to the humans and where did they go.  I'm thinking this too short even as a prologue.  It gives no hint regarding the story.  Suggest expanding it when you do that story to flesh out the focus of the story.

 on: April 14, 2017, 05:25:45 PM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by Kaijugod
This is a one-shot I decided to do. Please note this has no connection to my current story. But will serve as a prequel to a future story.

To my dearest.

When I took the Archimedean Oath, I dedicated myself to memories.

Our history, our knowledge.

It is the brink between Man and Beast.

Remembering our past is our way of protecting our future.

As the sickness spreads destroying our once great empire, I gaze upon our children so young and curious. They will be alone in this world once we depart to Luna. They will forget yet still remember us. It will be a long and harsh journey for them without us to protect and care for them. But I'm sure they'll adapt and thrive. We taught them so much and our old treasures will help them as well.

Well my love it is time to go. I only hope that you are still alive to read this message. The shuttles are starting to depart to our cities in the heavens. Who knows maybe one day we can return to our children.

But for now we leave them here. I'm sure they'll inherit the Earth.

Farewell my love.

Last known message of Archimedean Cassandra.

 on: April 12, 2017, 03:12:45 PM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by cairn destop
And now we have the introduction of the newest character to this story.  So far, the new character will be communicating from the tablet Tim holds.  Will be curious if he will become mobile enough to leave his tank.  Nice touch telling us why the humans disappeared.

 on: April 12, 2017, 07:16:25 AM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by Kaijugod
Decided to make some art to go along with my fanfiction.

It's funny my art skills are a lot better than writing skills.

Here's a couple pictures of both Tim the Rat in modern clothing and the Keymind "Wallace".

 on: April 10, 2017, 01:19:47 PM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by Kaijugod
I'm sorry if the dialogue seems odd. This is my first time writing an actual conversation.

Chapter 4: The Created

Tim could only stare in both awe and fear as the huge figure within the massive tank of liquid was revealed. From Tim's observation the figure within the tank could be described as a giant brain covered with metal plates with numerous wires, tubes and pipes imbedded in it. The giant 'brain simply floated within the tank of red liquid. Tim was confused he was sure no morph had ever seen something like this before. He honestly felt like running from this strange entity but something in him urged him to stay, to find out more about.

"H..hello." He said hesitantly.

"Greetings young Morph." A voice replied back to him.

Tim jumped in fright and quickly looked around for the source of the voice only to find himself to be the only person in the room.

Tim turned towards the tank again and eyed the entity within. "Wa..was that you?" He asked.

"Yes young Morph." The entity replied. "I am the only one else here besides you."

The voice sounded calm and completely devoid of any emotion.

"How? Wha...what are you?" Tim asked.

"I am Keymind 619 and I'm in charge of this cryogenics facility." The now named Keymind replied.

"Tim was even more confused 'cryogenics' what was that? He never heard of that word before.

"What is that?" Tim asked. He had to know more.

"As your kind are in a very primative stage of development I shall simplify the your answer." The Keymind replied.

"Cryogenics otherwise known as cryo sleep is a form of hibernation that allows a person to enter a state of suspended animation for a very long period of time." 619 answered.

"So it's like sleeping for a very long time?" Tim asked.

"Correct. I must say, you are very intelligent for a Morph of your age." The Keymind complimented.

Tim felt a feeling pride upon hearing that. But then realized something.

"What exactly is this place for?" He asked.

"This facility served as one of many locations designed to safeguard our creators from what they dubbed 'The Great Plague'. A worldwide catastrophe that resulted in the near extinction of the humans."

Tim was shocked 'Humans here?' He didn't know what this 'Great Plague' was but to know that there were living humans here.

"There are humans here, like actual living humans?" Tim asked hopefully. To actually meet a living human was one of Tim's greatest dreams. To actually meet the ones who gave the Morphs their gifts and made their way of life possible was to good to be true.

"Yes. There are approximately 724 humans in stasis within this facility."

Tim was speechless but thought of something, if he could find these humans and wake them he could finally have so many of his questions answered.

"Could it be possible to wake these humans?" Tim asked.

"Yes. However they have to be woken manually as I currently lack the authorization to do so myself. Lucky for you the cryogenic bays are not far from here if you return to the hallways outside this room I can guide to them."

Tim nodded and without hesitation left the room and returned to the halls he was in before entering the Keymind's chamber. Once he left the room the large doors shut themselves.

Upon reaching the halls a voice sounded from the tablet that Tim had collected earlier.

"Young Morph I have accessed your tablet in order to speak with you. With this I should be able to guide you through the steps needed to reach the cryogenics bay and wake the humans."

"Alright." Tim said. But then he thought of something.

"I was wondering if there was anything else I could call you?"

"One the humans who entered this facility many years ago once called me Wallace. You may call me that." The newly named Wallace replied.

 on: April 05, 2017, 05:57:41 PM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by cairn destop
Chapter 3

SPAG is very clean.  Well done on that.  Many here don't consider it important, but it is.  Just one minor typo and that isn't worth pointing out.  One suggestion, use a thesaurus.  Word variety is important.  Try not to use the same words throught your story.  Let's move onto the story itself.

Glad to see Tim has a good sense of curiosity.  That can be dangerous if he touches something he shouldn't.  Based on the description, it is either a phone or computer tablet.  Good having him go directly to the main part of his discovery.  Would be nice if he diverted a bit, but can understand Tim's desire not to get lost.  I do admit to my confusion regarding what happened after the main object rebooted.  Don't think that important since Tim wouldn't understand what happened.  Once again, a good cliffhanger at the end with the unknown voice.

 on: April 04, 2017, 03:41:16 PM 
Started by Corvus - Last post by WyrmMaster
Night Dive is licensing The Labyrinth of Time from Wyrmkeep Entertainment for distribution on Steam.

 on: April 04, 2017, 03:38:32 PM 
Started by Corvus - Last post by WyrmMaster
Nothing new to report on the LOT2 front.

 on: April 03, 2017, 11:45:33 AM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by Kaijugod
Chapter 3: Keymind

After spending a few hours asleep on his makeshift bed, Tim woke up feeling refreshed. The first thing he noticed upon waking up was that the pain in his leg was not as bad as before. Upon standing and attempting to walk he still felt a little bit of pain but not enough to cause him to limp. Deciding to continue on his journey Tim walked towards the door at the other end of the room near the desk. Before reaching the door Tim decided to look at the desk. Upon his observation he noticed a strange device sitting on the desk. The device was rectangular in shape and was mostly made of a strange black glass. Curiously Tim picked up the device and flipped it over. He noticed the back of the device was silver and in the center was a pear with a bite taken out of it. Flipping the device back over Tim noticed a small square-shaped button on the bottom of the device.

Upon pressing the button the black glass lit up showing a picture of a field of flowers as well as many smaller boxes with little pictures in them. Awed by the device Tim decided to take it with him. With his new treasure in hand Tim ventured onwards through the door. Upon going through the door Tim entered another hallway but this one had multiple paths with each one leading to a different door. Tim however kept on walking straight with no desire of getting lost. After walking down the hallway for some time Tim came across yet another door. This one however looked much different from the other ones. The door looked similar to the one that he used to enter the ruins but it seemed to have what looks like large locks and bolts holding it closed.

Now even more curious about this strange door Tim walked up to it. Above the door were two words that Tim didn't understand. The words read "AI Core". Tim didnt know what either of those words meant. Tim then noticed a green light coming from the device in his hands and a green light coming from the door. Curious he held the device closer to the door and noticed words appearing on the device. The words read "Access Granted". Tim then heard a loud click followed by what sounded like hundreds of hears grinding as he watched the doors open revealing an absolutely massive room. Upon entering the room, Tim noticed the same white color scheme. However he also noticed that he was walking on what appeared to be a long metal bridge. He also noticed that covering the walls were countless large black wires and tubes. These wires and tubes were all connected to a massive cylindrical glass tank in the middle of the room.

Upon reaching the end of the bridge Tim came across a large circular platform in front the tank. Upon approaching the tank Tim noticed it was filled with a strange red liquid and something huge was floating the liquid. He also noticed another one of those devices similar to the one he used to open the second door. This device however was much bigger and glowed with many different symbols just like the last. Going across the screen of the device was the word "Reset". Wondering if this device would do anything like the last one Tim placed a paw on the device and watched as a bar went across the screen with the word "Rebooting" appearing underneath it.

After the bar was filled up it and the word vanished an the screen of the device. The tank of red liquid then glowed a bright red color before the object inside become more visible. The object in the tank started to glow with many red lines of lights crisscrossing across it's body. A bright red light glowed in the center of the object almost appearing like some sort of eye.

Tim could watch with a mixture of fear and awe as the object in the tank eventually became fully visible. Out of nowhere a voice spoke to Tim.

"Welcome Morph child."

 on: April 01, 2017, 07:33:51 PM 
Started by Kaijugod - Last post by cairn destop
Very good on the SPAG.  Didn't find anything major to note.  Minor nits.

1 --- stepping away --- Typo, first word of a sentence is capitalized
2 --- figures where around --- Typo, should be "were"


Good move making the main character ignorant of human items.  I do admit there was some text that made me wonder if Tim ever saw another human settlement / structure or if his knowledge came from the stories of his elders.  The initial description reminds me of a receptionist room for medical or personnel.  A good closing line.

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